


Don't Look

by Thisiswhyiwrite



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-24 21:34:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6167536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thisiswhyiwrite/pseuds/Thisiswhyiwrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron told Robert he thinks they should stick to being mates. But how long can he keep it up?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Last orders at the Woolpack. Aaron could feel Robert’s gaze on him. Knew he was looking. But he didn’t give him the satisfaction of meeting his eye. Sure, he’d caught a glimpse when he came in and joined Victoria at the bar. He was wearing a shirt he hadn’t seen before, his hair was a little messy, his leather jacket resting easily on his broad shoulders. He looked good. Hot as hell actually. But no, he wouldn’t look.

Robert focussed his attention back on his pint. Trying not to let the deep disappointment show on his face.   
“What did you do?” Victoria sighed, glancing over at Aaron’s lonely form in the corner.   
“Nothing”.   
Victoria just looked at him and raised an eyebrow, waiting for the real answer.   
“I messed up”.   
“How?”  
“Doesn’t matter”.   
“Talk to him”.   
“I’ve tried. It’s too late.”

Aaron could sense Victoria looking over now too. Knew he was the topic of conversation. He pretended to be absorbed in his phone but was acutely aware of Robert draining his glass and getting up. In two seconds he’d be at his table. Apologising again. Flashing that smile. His voice soft, asking if he’d come back to his. Talk. Aaron braced himself, it took a lot to resist. But Robert had to know he wouldn’t take any shit this time. He had to make a stand, didn’t he? Had to teach him that he needed a partner. Not some lying, cheating, manipulative, morally bankrupt fuck buddy. Crap. He’d thought about it. Again. He tried to force the memories away, but they only came back stronger. The barn, the hotel. Home Farm. Robert’s car. A flush of warmth swept over him as he remembered the feel of Robert’s hands, his mouth; hot and open and hungry, and his… Get a grip. Robert was close now. Aaron took a deep breath and finally looked. But this time he kept going. Straight out the door and didn’t look back. 

Aaron stepped out of the pub into the chilly spring night. Regret twisting in his stomach. He’d asked for distance, and now he’d got it. Perhaps it was better this way. The trial was just around the corner. He had his mum, and Cain, and Paddy. Robert had been there when it counted, but he wasn’t alone now. Crap. Memories invaded again. Robert’s arm pulling him close at the scrap yard. Sleeping next to him on the floor. Standing under a tree and telling him they had a future… But Robert had given up on it now. He must have. He’d walked past without a second look. The lesson had backfired. Aaron wasn’t worth the hassle after all. 

But there he was. Up the street a little. Frowning at the engine under the hood of his flashy motor. Jeans tight in all the right places as he reached over to fiddle with something. Aaron paused. Took him in appreciatively. Knew he should turn and run in the opposite direction.   
“Need a hand?”  
Robert was pleasantly surprised as Aaron joined him at his shoulder. His full attention on the engine as he studiously avoided Robert’s eye.   
“Dodgy connection, it’s sorted”.   
“Cool”.   
“Thanks though”.   
“No worries.”  
Aaron wanted to say more, but he didn’t know how. He’d had the upper hand before, but now he felt lost. He bottled it.   
“See you around then”.  
“I know you’ll say no, but, fancy a drink?’ Robert blurted after him. Aaron stopped and looked back at him, finally looking Robert in the eye, his breath catching as he did so. He hadn’t given up.   
“As mates or whatever”. He added almost shyly.   
Aaron nodded and wordlessly got into the passenger seat. Covering his amazement, Robert got in beside him.   
“What’s brought all this on?”  
“Just drive will you?”  
Robert put the car in gear and did what he was told. 

“I really am sorry”.   
The bar in town was quiet. In a dimly lit corner, Robert sat across from him, knees almost touching under the table.   
“My mum pressured you, I get it. Ryan seemed like a good idea at the time”.  
Robert held Aaron’s gaze, puzzled.   
“So why am I still in the doghouse?”  
Aaron sighed. Unsure how to explain, and unsure that they would ever work if he had to.   
“Because of before.” Robert answered himself. “Cause of all the shit I put you through”.   
“I guess”.   
“And you remembered that you deserve better.”  
Robert looked away, hurt hiding behind his blue eyes. “You’re right. You do.”   
Aaron knew he should agree. But he couldn’t imagine better. Not at that moment. He ached to move forward and kiss him, but the wall he’d built was still standing firm. Robert shifted slightly. He felt the warmth of his leg press against his. The beer was making his head swim. Robert was close, hurting, wanting him. Aaron wanted him too.   
“Maybe we should go back”, he gruffly managed to reply. Crap. When it came to building walls, he was the best.   
Robert nodded. Moved his leg away. Reached for his car keys. 

The air had a chill to it as they got into the car. Robert reached across and grabbed a bottle of water from the glovebox, arm brushing Aaron’s chest as he did so. Aaron tried not to savour it, but God he smelt good. Of skin, and aftershave, and the best sex he’d ever had. He fought hard to ignore the pulse of electricity from the slightest touch.   
“Drink this, you’re hammered”.  
“Hardly”.   
But Aaron took the bottle all the same. He drank the cold liquid down, glad of an excuse not to talk.   
The country roads were deserted and Robert put his foot down as always. Dark fields whizzed past and Aaron couldn’t help thinking it felt like they were the last two on earth. If they were, they’d still fuck it up, he thought, downing the last of the water. The silence was suddenly broken by Robert’s phone buzzing with a text. He took a hand off the wheel to casually glance at it, then put it back in his pocket without a word. In spite of everything, Aaron felt a stab of jealousy work its way up through his gut. He dug deep not to say anything, but the beer was in charge now.  
“Who wants you this late?”  
“No one”.   
Everything clicked into place. Of course Robert wouldn’t wait. Of course there was someone else.   
“Right”.   
Aaron had no right to be bitter. He’d said he only wanted them to be mates. But the idea of him being more than that with anyone else hurt badly nevertheless. Sensing his tone, Robert sighed and chucked him the phone.   
“It’s Vic actually. Hoping I’m out with you”.  
Taken aback, Aaron looked at the screen, he wasn’t lying.   
“Text her back will you? Just tell her to keep her nose out.”  
Aaron texted back a quick message. He knew it was nothing but it felt strangely intimate. The kind of thing he’d do for his boyfriend. If he had one.   
“There isn’t anyone else you know.”  
“None of my business”.  
Robert kept his eyes ahead, but looked torn, clearly trying to decide whether to tell him something. After a long pause he seemed to have made his mind up.   
“There hasn’t been anyone at all. Since you”.   
Incredulous Aaron looked across at him. Struggling to read his face.   
“Get lost. You?”  
“What’re you trying to say?”  
“That you need it all the time. So much so, that one person isn’t usually enough”.   
“I’m not saying it hasn’t been hard”, Robert admitted wryly. “But it’s the truth. And one person is enough for me by the way. Only problem is, he hates me”.   
Aaron felt his stomach drop as Robert dared to glance over at him. How was he supposed to resist now? He suddenly felt the ins and outs of the last few weeks evaporate. He didn’t need the wall anymore. He just needed Robert. Right there. Right now. He didn’t care if his heart got ripped to pieces again. He didn’t even care if he never learned his lesson.   
“Stop the car”.   
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything…”  
“Pull over, here, now.”   
Robert did as he was told again. The car came to the halt in a lay by. No streetlights. Just stars overhead, clouds racing across the sky in the wind. Aaron undid his seatbelt and instantly moved over, straddling Robert in his seat. Robert’s look of surprise was quickly replaced by a smile as Aaron adjusted his weight against him.   
“I don’t hate you,” Aaron breathed as he met Robert’s mouth with his. Robert kissed him back slow and hard. After a moment he tenderly broke away, found Aaron’s hands with his own.   
“I thought we were waiting?” He panted. Trying to recover himself a little.   
“Got sick of it”, Aaron said, planting kisses down his neck, delighting in the response in Robert’s jeans underneath him.   
“I don’t hate you. I love you.”  
“I love you too.” Robert sighed. They melted into each other. Longing, and lust, and love.   
Aaron’s wall was finally down. And it was everything.


	2. Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert reconnect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... after a million years I decided to write another chapter! Let me know if you'd like more! xx

“Not here”, Robert breathed into Aaron’s neck, making every hair stand up, every nerve tingle.

“Yes, here”, Aaron disagreed, grinding down into Robert’s lap, drawing a soft moan from the depths of his throat.

“I’m done waiting.” Robert brought his hands up to his face, and they were kissing again, slow and deep. Aaron reached down and let his fingers search out Robert’s hardness through his jeans. Robert’s eyes flew open at the pressure, his back arching against the seat.

“Looks like you are too”, Aaron whispered as he stroked him through the fabric, letting his lips drag against Robert’s mouth, teasing him. Robert’s hands travelled down his back, slipping underneath him and gripping his arse. One hand moved expertly so he was stroking the taut denim between his balls and his entrance. “Ffuck, Robert”, he panted as his head fell forward onto Robert’s shoulder, pleasure pulsing through him.

“That good?”

“Yyeah, good”, Aaron stammered, wondering how on earth he was going to last when they actually got their clothes off. And then suddenly Robert’s hand was gone and he was pushing Aaron up and away from him.

“I’ll drive us home”.

“What?”

“I want to take you home”.

“I want to stay with you”.

“You can. At mine”.

Aaron stared at him, thrown. Robert pressed a kiss to his forehead, then drew back and looked at him, breath still ragged, soft eyes still full of want.

“I’ve thought about this a lot. I want it to be right. Will you come home with me?”

There was a tender urgency in his voice that made it suddenly apparent that the wait would be worth it. Aaron swallowed and finally nodded. He lifted himself up and moved back into the passenger seat. Robert smiled and started the engine. He floored it all the way back to the village.

***

Robert led him swiftly through the dark cottage and up the creaking stairs. At the top, his step became lighter as they passed Victoria and Adam’s door, a glowing rectangular frame against the blackness. Aaron felt like a shadow, an intruder somewhere he’d told himself he’d never go again. The only thing keeping him rooted was Robert’s steady hand on his wrist.

“Rob?” Victoria’s voice shattered the silence from behind the door. Aaron froze, felt Robert do the same.

“Yeah?” he asked casually, ushering Aaron silently further down the hall. Both willed her to stay put with everything they had.

“Night”. She replied simply.

“Dirty stop out”, they heard Adam mutter, accompanied by a rustle of bedsheets, but nothing more.

“Night”, Robert smiled, meeting Aaron’s eye as he opened his bedroom door and the light from the street lamp outside illuminated him briefly. Once inside, Robert quickly closed the curtains and switched on a lamp. As he shrugged off his jacket, Aaron couldn’t fight a smirk as he took in his surroundings. The room was tiny. The bed was tiny. Everything was neat and in it’s place of course, but it was so _humble_ , so unlike the man who had brought him back here he couldn’t help but stare. But then Robert’s mouth was on his again and he found himself sinking back against the door as his body eclipsed his. Enjoying the press of him, the weight of him, the _everything_ of him.

“I missed you”, Robert sighed, peppering kisses behind his ear and down his neck. Fingers stroking the small of his back, working their way lower with every touch of his lips. _God I missed you too_ , Aaron’s body sang back. It was in the desperate rhythm of his kiss, the pounding of his heart, his fingers at the nape of Robert’s neck. Then Robert was pulling at his clothes, discarding his hoodie in one quick motion, fiddling with his belt and pushing down his jeans. Aaron in turn unbuttoned Robert’s shirt, fingers shaking with anticipation.

“Why here?” he asked, as he exposed Robert’s smooth freckled skin, trying to ground himself, trying not to come on the spot as Robert palmed him mercilessly through his boxers before pulling them off.

“I want you in my bed”.

“They’ll hear us”.

“Adam sleeps like the dead. Vic has earplugs cause Adam snores”.

“But..”

“And anyway, who cares? It’s not like we’re sneaking around anymore is it?”

And there it was. The difference. And all of a sudden Aaron was grounded. Anchored. In this room. With this beautiful man. The pieces of the puzzle fit together, and yes, this was right. This was how it should be. This is how it would be. Their future. A tiny box room and a tiny bed, and a big,full throbbing heart fit to burst. Robert stepped back and slipped off his jeans and briefs. He stood there naked by the bed, eyes intent on Aaron.

“I love you”, Aaron whispered. “Come here then”, Robert beckoned. Aaron removed his t-shirt and joined him. Robert pulled him close and they sank onto the bed together. Chest to chest, skin on skin. Aaron settled on top of Robert, his knee pushing his muscular thighs apart, kissing his chest whilst his hands roamed against the flat of his stomach.

“We can just do this if you want”, Robert said softly. “We don’t have to go further.”

“Thought you had plans for me?” Aaron replied impatiently as he reached down and wrapped his fingers tightly round Robert’s hard cock, feeling his heartbeat race through the impossibly soft skin. Robert closed his eyes and his breath quickened.

“Or that, that’s good too”, he stammered, reaching for Aaron in turn, stroking light circles over his slit causing him to strangle a cry, and both to almost laugh at the sound of it.

“I’m funny am I?” Aaron breathed as his fingers found Robert’s hole and Robert opened his thighs wider.

“You’re perfect”, Robert moaned softly as Aaron teased his rim, pushing gently with the tips of his fingers.

“You’ve thought about this then?”

“Y-yes”, Robert panted.

“How is it measuring up?”

“This is b-better”, Robert managed, pushing back against Aaron’s fingers, reaching blindly to the drawer by the bed and finding a condom. Aaron took it and rolled it over his thick length, then slicked them both with lube. He lined himself up, stroking his crack with the tip of his dick, sending Robert crazy for more.

“I thought about it too”.

“Yeah?”

“All the time”.

“Please”, begged Robert. Aaron rocked against him, savouring it, thinking of the months of pain, frustration and doubt when this moment felt impossible. Was it stupid to give in? Was it wrong to let himself have what he’d wanted all this time?

“Please,” Robert said again, and Aaron looked at his flushed handsome face. His pale eyes full of love and desire.

“Aaron, I need you” he demanded quietly, and Aaron was moving forward then, pushing inside. Making Robert gasp as his dick grew even harder in his tight hole. They lay there together for a moment, still, connected, close, as if they’d been made for each other, Robert’s legs around his waist holding them as one. And then he moved, deep inside him, getting the angle just right, revelling in his tightness, his slick warmth. Robert cried out and Aaron’s hand found his mouth, muffling the sound as they moved together faster and faster, until neither could hold out and longer and Aaron came, hard and fast inside the man he loved on the tiny bed. And when he did, it felt like home.


End file.
